July 10, 2013

Dan Quixote


"You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness."
-Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

During my mission to Paraguay, one of my companions had to make a trip to the hospital. After the appointment, we decided to have lunch in the hospital's cafeteria. They had one of those low-set freezers with the slide-open top, filled with all sorts of individually wrapped popsicles, ice cream sandwiches, and other frozen treats. Dessert sounded good, so I walked over, slid the lid open, and weighed my options.

My earliest childhood friend and his family gave me a nickname – “Danny Q.” To this day I have no idea how it originated… it’s just what they called (and still call) me. Not too long ago I decided that the Q stands for Quixote.

Anyone who’s been grocery shopping with me or seen me try to order food at a restaurant can tell you how long it often takes me to make up my mind. This decision in the hospital was no different – I studied all my options, carefully considering the available selection of treats, their prices, my personal taste, my hunger level, and amount of disposable funds. It took me literally 3-4 minutes to pick something.

I recently learned the hard way that what I once thought was being true to a glorious quest was in reality as useless as attacking windmills. How am I supposed to know when reaching for the unreachable star is commendable and noble or just impractical and unrealistic? 

When I finally returned to the table where my companion was sitting, he asked me, “Elder McIntosh, how are you ever going to choose a wife?!”

"Dreams die hard and you hold them in your hands long after they turn to dust."
-Bowen (Dennis Quaid), DragonHeart

And so I joined Cyrano and Luke at the wrong corner; turns out I was Harry the whole time. What purpose do I have in sharing these things? I don’t know… catharsis, probably. Will the world be better for this? I think so – I've definitely learned some things. Quests are difficult and tiring, but I’ve got to be willing to march into hell for the heavenly cause, because it's worth it. And the world is a pretty terrific place.